Brown Eyed Girl
by Bob1097
Summary: Johnny has found his Brown Eyed Girl. But what will happen when he and Ponyboy have to run away for a crime they didn't want to commit?
1. Brown Eyed Girl

I do not own The Outsiders.

A/N I tried to writ this the way I talk so it would flow better and be more realistic. I appoligize for the bad grammer but I did it on purpose.

Enjoy

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There should have been enough to do that night that I could have been amused for hours. But I wasn't. I didn't want to party and I had already saw the movie at the double so I went looking for amusement elsewhere. But in a town this small amusement is hard to find in legal pursuits, and I knew better than to meet the cops on the wrong side of things. When I left the house I had a whole pack of Marlboros so I started smoking away. By the time I finished the third one in a row my stomach was angry with me. I knew it had been a stupid idea, but I was a stupid girl. I got up off the swing I had been in and walked around gulping in the night air.

My feet took me right by the double just as everyone was leaving. I saw people I knew and people I didn't; up ahead I saw three boys I knew and liked well. It was Ponyboy Curtis, Two-Bit Mathews and Johnny Cade. There were two girls walking with them, a short one talking to Two-Bit, and a red head talking to Ponyboy. Johnny was walking along in the middle with his hands in his pockets and his head down watching his feet.

I ran a little to catch up with them.

"Hey." I shouted.

All five of them turned and looked my direction.

"Hey Lose. Two-Bit said when he realized who had yelled.

'Lose' wasn't my real name. It was short for Lucy. They said I took off every time I got lose from my mom, hence the nickname. It was the truth. The only reason I was roaming the streets at this late hour was because my mom was at work. She worked the night shift, and didn't get home until 6 a.m., so I was lose and free to roam.

"Two-Bit. Pony. How's it going Johnny?" I greeted.

Pony didn't say much, I think he said 'hi' or something like that, but Two-Bit slapped Johnny on the shoulder playfully and said, "You scared the daylights out of Johnny."

Johnny did look flightier than usual.

"What's the matter Johnny? You scared of lil' ole me?" I asked jokingly.

A smile lit up his whole face, black eyes and all.

"I guess I am a little jumper than usual." He said.

"Where are you boys headed?" I asked hoping for something fun.

Two-Bit answered, "We are taking these two ladies home, to the north side."

"Seriously?"

I raised one eye brow naturally but I was glad to show him he wasn't the only one who could do that little trick.

"Seriously." He said with a sort of smug grin.

"Mind if I tag along?" I asked.

He said no so I went. Anyway I had till 6a.m. and it was the weekend, I could sleep tomorrow and if three of my greaser friends were going to take two Soc girls home, I wanted to see it.

Pony was talking nonstop to the red head and Two-bit was so busy making the other girl laugh he was impossible to have a conversation with. That left me and Johnny. Quiet Johnny. It was a boring walk for about five minutes till the red head said, "Well, they spotted us." And a blue mustang stopped beside us. I automatically knew it was full of Socs. I was right. I wasn't scared for my sake; I knew they wouldn't hurt me. I was neutral. My dad was rich and I had nice things and I didn't get in trouble, so I wasn't a greaser. But I wasn't a snob and my dad left us when I was a baby and my mom had to work nights, so I wasn't a Soc.

I was standing back and wondering what to do. I knew who Bob was but I didn't know him well. I went out with Randy once and had a nice time. I had no intentions of fighting with either side, but I certainly wasn't going to side against my friends.

Once my mom got off work early and caught me leaving Two-bit's house at 5:30 in the morning and got pissed. Before I could even start explaining myself Two-Bit spoke up and took the blame saying he had asked me to come over and help him with some math homework. He even produced a sheet of problems. I had never saw that piece of paper before.

It was Two-Bit who got my attention, "Pity the backseat." He said and smashed the bottom off a pop bottle and shoved it into Pony's hand for a weapon.

Johnny quickly sucked air in his mouth and grabbed the side of my tee-shirt. That startled me more that the breaking glass. For an instant I thought he was trying to protect me, like he was going to pull me away from the fight. But when I instinctively looked at him he was white and his eyes were round. A moment later the red head said, "Ok. We'll go with you."

"Why?" Two-Bit asked. He sounded disappointed.

"I hate fights." She said exasperated.

She pulled Pony aside and they talked in low voices. Two-Bit kept staring at the Socs with his switch pulled, and Johnny stayed tense with his fingers tangled in my shirt. Soon they all got in the car and it pulled away.

The four of us started walking again.

"What are you fellas gonna do tonight?" Two-Bit asked.

I didn't bother to point out I wasn't exactly a 'fella'.

Pony answered, "Go home, I guess."

Two-Bit ran after a hat blown by the wind.

"I may get drunk. See you boys later." He said and jogged off giggling.

Now he was just being mean.

Ponyboy, Johnny and I stopped in front of Johnny's house since it was first up, and we could all hear shouting coming from inside.

"I hate when they fight." Johnny mumbled. "Let's go to the lot." He said popping Ponyboy lightly on the arm.

I wasn't invited but I wasn't un-invited either so once again I tagged along.

"Wait up." I said.

And they did.

It was a cool and windy night. We all three had our arms crossed and pulled tight to our bodies for warmth. I felt dumb for not at least wearing long sleeves, but after looking at Pony's sleeveless shirt I felt better.

"You'll freeze to death, Lucy. Here" Johnny said slipping off his jeans jacket and trying to hand it to me.

I might be cold but at least I could go home and get warm. Johnny couldn't even do that.

"Na, man. You'll get cold." I said pushing the jacket back at him.

"I can take it better than you can." He said pushing it back.

Was that a snub? No, it was just Johnny's logic for being nice.

I don't know how long we sat in the lot. Ponyboy was disappointed that they didn't get to take the girls home.

"How long did it take you to ask her out, Ponyboy?" I asked.

I was really wondering if Darry knew.

Pony turned red. "Ask her out?"

Johnny giggled a little bit like he couldn't help it. I think that was the first time I had ever heard him actually giggle, like Two-Bit.

"Didn't," Pony said pulling at grass blades. "That big guy, Bob, that's her boyfriend."

"Oh."

Now it made since.

"Was that Cherry Valance?" I asked.

I wondered why she was walking with Ponyboy.

He nodded. "Do you know her?" He asked.

'Duh, Pony.' That's what I wanted to say. But instead I said, "I have heard of her. People say she's a snob."

He looked as if I had slapped him.

"That's not true." he said indigently. Then he dreamily added, "She watches sunsets."

Then he flipped over on his stomach and rested his chin on his crossed arms. Me and Johnny were quite for a long time and didn't know Pony had fallen asleep until Johnny broke the silent.

"Pony it's gettin' kinda late." He said.

But there was no response. Johnny moved his arm to wake him but without really thinking I gripped his arm to stop him.

"No," I said and we both looked at my two hands around his bicep. "Let him sleep for a minute. Let's talk."

It was an awkward moment. Our faces were close and we were breathing in each other's faces. His arm was bigger than I expected, muscly-er, and he had pretty lips.

"M'kay." He breathed.

His breath smelled like cigarettes and little else. I'm sure mine did too. I sank back where I was so our faces weren't so close.

"What ya wanna talk 'bout?" Johnny asked.

Look at that he could speak first.

"I was wondering Johnny, a while ago, when the Socs pulled up, why did you grab my shirt like that?"

He didn't speak for a minute he just stared right at me. It was a little unnerving. Then he looked down and started to pick at the bottom of his sneakers.

Then he started to speak, "well. I was scared. My first thought was to run if a fight broke out, and I don't know. I was gonna take you with me I guess."

When he was done answering he looked back up at me and smiled slightly. I smiled too, I couldn't help it.

"That's sweet Johnny Cade."

I thought about that for a minute. It wasn't just that he wanted to protect me or that he was scared. It was both.

Huh, look at that. Little Johnnycake, the jumpy quite one didn't want me to get hurt. I was flattered to say the least. I was smiling again.

"Ya know, you ant got to worry about me. The Socs won't hurt me. They know who my dad is. I'm kinda neural when it comes to what side of the fence I'm on." I said.

Johnny looked down again, he looked disappointed.

"I know." He said quietly.

I could tell I had said the wrong thing. Did that sound like I was two-faced? Or like I was saying I was too good to be a greaser? That wasn't what I meant to say at all. I had friends on both sides and didn't belong to either.

"Johnny," I had sat up again, my hand was on his arm again, and our faces were close. He was looking in my eyes again. My words were hard to get out. "You and Ponyboy and Two-Bit are my friends, so is the rest of the gang. I would have taken your side tonight if it had come to it. I knew before Two-Bit broke that bottle."

I wasn't looking at his eyes anymore; I was looking at his lips. He seemed distracted too. Gosh they were pretty. Our mouths got closer and the air warmer. We were kissing. His lips were soft too and he kissed me so gently. 'Why haven't we done this before?' I wondered briefly but instantly my mind was back on the warm, sweet, soft, gentle- oh God those lips I thought. I didn't want it to end, and it didn't. I felt something, the tip of his tongue. I wanted the kiss to deepen so I parted my lips and it crept inside. I couldn't resist, I put my hands on his back and pulled myself closer to him. I rubbed my hands down the length of his arms repetitively and up and down his back. I wanted to touch his skin and I almost put my hands up his shirt, but I stopped when I realized he wasn't touching me like that.

He had had one hand politely on my shoulder and the other on the ground. Honestly, I felt a little like I was violating him. I smiled into the kiss despite myself. Without stopping the kiss, I picked up the hand that was on the ground and put it on my chest. This caused the kiss to become untimed, but it stopped all together when I closed his fingers around my boob.

Johnny pulled back and looked at his hand on my boob.

"Johnny," I whispered. "Have you ever done this before?"

He shook his head.

"Have you ever kissed a girl before?" I asked.

He nodded, "Once." He said, and his voice was horse. "It was Dally's girl."

I laughed a bit. I'm sure there was a funny story to go along with that, and I would find it out. But not now; now I just wanted to get closer to this boy.

"Just go with it." I breathed and crashed my lips back into his.

His hand hadn't moved and soon he was doing as he was told. It felt great but I couldn't be close enough to him. Our wonderful kiss didn't break or weaken. I straddled him and laced my fingers in his greasy hair. He wrapped his arms around me and held my body tight to his. He rubbed his hands strongly from my boobs, down my sides, around my butt and back in the same course. Johnny needed no more encouragement to play. I rocked my hips a few times and noticed something. Johnny had a hard-on.

Now, I was a virgin, but, I had pushed the boundaries as far as possible without the deed being done. I broke the kiss again and put his left hand on my center and rubbed it there while we held eye contact. I let go of his hand but he kept rubbing.

I started unbuttoning my jeans. He hesitated for a second then pushed me onto my back and was straddling me. He roughly pushed his jacket off my shoulders and I shook my arms out of it. Next he slid my tee-shirt over my head and I lost no time in freeing him of his. I still had my bra on but I was thankful that he had no such garment to hinder my hands and eyes from drinking in his tan skin. He must not have thought it was fair either, because he pushed it down to my waist, and I'm sure I left scratches on his back when he started licking, sucking, kissing and touching my boobs. I tried to unbutton his pants but he sat up and sighed.

"Lucy, don't. I won't be able to stop." He said looking down at me.

"We don't have to stop." I said grinning.

"No Lose, let's not." He said panting.

I could see chill bumps on his skin and that was the first time I remembered the cold since we first kissed.

"Why not Johnny?" I asked confusedly.

I knew he had been enjoying himself, and to tell the truth I was starting to get a little hurt.

"Accidents happen Lucy."

I thought about that for a minute. He was right. And we both knew the awful things that would happen to us if that did happen.

I sighed, "Ok Johnny." And I leaned up to kiss him.

Kissing him was amazing, but I wanted this boy for the long run, and if that meant no sex, that's what we would do. Or not do. He handed me my shirt and his jacket and pulled his own shirt back on.

"I got to wake Pony up, Darry will flip." He said and looked to make sure I had my clothes on before he started shaking the other boy awake.

"Mmm?" Ponyboy asked sleepily. "What time is it?"

Johnny looked around. "I don't know, man. We fell asleep too. It's late though, you better get home."

Pony did as he was advised and immediately ran stumbling from the lot. I sort of raised an eyebrow at him. I knew he only said it because he was shy, but I could still have some fun with him.

"Sleeping?" I asked and smiled at him.

He smiled too and looked down.

"Is that what you are calling it? Gah, I'd sure like to see what would happen if we were both awake." I joked.

He smiled and got a little red, "Shut up Lucy." He said playfully and sat down next to me and slid his arm around me.

I snuggled down into the crook of his arm and laid my head against him and put my hand over his heart. Then I realized something.

"Johnny!" I said kinda quickly and he startled. "I still have your jacket. You're so cold."

He really was, he felt like ice.

"Oh, I'll be alright." He said.

I knew he would be and there wasn't any chance of getting him to take the jacket back. Sweet, shy and scared he might be, but he was definitely tough! Yep that was my Johnny. Wait, my Johnny?

"So," I started. "Does this mean we are kinda going together now?"

I wanted to know his thoughts on the night's events; I knew I wanted to spend every minute with him. He was quite for a minute before he answered.

"Yeah. I guess now your kinda my Brown Eyed Girl." He said and then kissed the top of my head.

"That's very witty." I said,

"Come on Brown Eyed Girl, I'll walk you home." He said standing up and reaching for my hand.

I wanted to protest and I guess he could tell because he added, "I'm not going to let you stay out here all night."

So I reluctantly took his hand and he pulled me up. We walked hand in hand and mostly in silent until we reach my door. The good night kiss wasn't as awkward as I expected.

He leaned in, pecked my lips once and said, "See you tomorrow."

The porch light provided the best light I had seen him in all night. His greasy, black, long curly hair. His dark eyes. His tan completion. 'I'm luck' I thought to myself. As he turned away to leave I remembered the jacket.

"Wait, your jacket." I said grabbing his hand to stop him.

He smiled at me again.

"Na. You keep it. I'll prolly go to Pony's house. Besides, I want everyone to know who's wearing it." He said.

I about melted. I quickly kissed his cheek and ran inside. The last I saw of his face, he was smiling.

* * *

P.S. should this be a oneshot? I am riding more chapters but I like how this one leaves you hanging.


	2. The Jacket

The next day I woke up about noon. I wondered into the kitchen, where I knew my mom would be. She didn't sleep much. I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down across from here at the table. My mom was pretty. She was 35 and she had a fabulous face. It was like she got prettier with age. She had thick brown curls that had gotten darker with time; I could remember when it was as light as mine. She had green eyes and something about her glowed. I looked like my mom but with lighter hair and brown eyes and not so pretty.

"Good morning, precious." She said.

She was always calling me something sweet.

"Mornin'" I mumbled back.

"Were you home all night?" She asked.

I stopped my coffee half way to my mouth. Had I gotten caught?

"Yea," I lied. "Why?"

She sighed and put down her paper to study me.

"Somebody got killed last night; they say some of those boys you run around with are responsible."

No way.

"Who?" I asked.

I could feel myself start to shake. People didn't get murdered around here, and if they did it wasn't by my friends. I adored my mom but we didn't always see eye to eye.

"That one that's got the brother named Pepsi or something."

Soda? No way.

"Darry?"

"No, the younger one." She said waving her hand around like she was trying to find the name in front of her.

Pony? Now I knew she was wrong. Ponyboy couldn't hurt anyone.

"Pony?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Yeah, that's it. And the dark one, what was it? J-"

I didn't let her finish.

"Johnny." I gasped for her.

"Yes."

I was already slamming down my coffee cup and running back to my room. No way. There had to be some explanation. Ponyboy and Johnny were the last two people on earth who would off somebody. No way. I had to get to the bottom of this. I put my clothes on from last night because they were the first I came to. I ran out the door without a word to my mom and she didn't try to stop me. I ran all the way to the Curtis house. If this awful thing was true, and I was sure it wasn't, Soda could tell me what really happened. I ran up their porch steps but Two-Bit kept me from knocking.

"Hey Lose, where's Ponyboy and Johnny? It's all over town they knifed a Soc." He said forgoing a greeting.

He sounded as worried as I felt.

"I don't know, man. That's why I'm here."

I knocked and Soda immediately opened the door. He looked awful, like he was worried and hadn't slept and had maybe been crying.

"Is it true Soda?" I asked at once.

Two-bit was now beside me and Soda looked at both of us?

"Is it true?" I asked again.

Like Two-Bit I skipped a greeting.

"Looks like it. Come in." He said opening the door wider and extending his arm for us to go in the house.

He closed the door behind us. He plopped down on the couch and stared at the TV vaguely leaving me and Two-Bit silent and sort of dazed. I'm sure Two-Bit had as many thoughts running through his mind as I did, and they were probably about the same. Oddly me and Two-Bit usually thought along the same lines. Where was Darry? Did Pony make it home last night? Did Soda know where Pony and Johnny were? Seeing that he wasn't going to volunteer any information, I pried into Soda.

"What the hell happened Sodapop?" I asked and plopped down next to him on the couch.

Two-Bit sat on the arm and looked at us, he still hadn't said anything.

Soda rubbed his red eyes and shook his head as he spoke. "I don't know exactly. Pony came home real late, him and Darry got into it, he ran out and we didn't see him again. 'Bout 4:30 the cops come looking for Ponyboy and Johnny, cops said Socs jumped them in the park. Johnny stabbed one of them. I think his name was Bob." He said the last part disbelievingly.

I really was stunned silent now but Two-Bit looked madder than I had ever saw him before.

Soda kept talking. "We went looking for them; Pony's sweatshirt was in Dally's room at Buck's. Dally swears he don't know where they went, but I know he's lying. He'd say anything to keep Johnnycake outta trouble."

We were all quite for a minute. Soda seemed to be the only one able to talk, and talk he did. I think it was helping to have someone to voice his thoughts to, even if we weren't talking back.

"Darry's scared to death. He thinks we're gonna get split up."

Just from the way he said it I could tell that was what he was worried about the most. This couldn't be right.

"This is all my fault."

I wasn't sure if I said it out loud or not, but I must have because Two-Bit answered me.

"How's that?" He asked.

Soda looked at me like he might be able to strangle me, depending on my answer.

"The three of us went to the lot last night. Ponyboy fell asleep, and me and Johnny started-" I stopped abruptly.

What was I going to say? Kissing? Making out? Having sex with clothes on?

"-Talking." I said. "I said we should let Pony sleep. Johnny wanted to wake him up but I said no. that's why it's my fault." I said remorsefully.

Soda's face relaxed. "Na, that don't make it your fault Lose." He said.

He patted my leg and forced a grin. I don't know how or why, but I grinned too. I don't know how long we sat there in silence until Two-Bit broke it.

"Lucy?" He said low and serious. "Is that Johnnycake's jacket?"

It was. I really hoped he was somewhere warm since he didn't have it.

"Yea." I mumbled. "He gave it to me last night."

Two-Bit chuckled big.

"So little Johnny finally got a girl huh?" He said

I was blushing and could feel it. I don't know why though, I wasn't ashamed of it.

"Yea he did." I said timidly.

I couldn't look at Two-Bit so I just looked down at the couch. Two-Bit laughed but, Soda looked at me weird. I didn't like it. It was like a mix of concern and sorrow. He didn't have a say in the matter, and at the moment we had bigger problems than a jacket. We sat there for a few more minutes without talking. I knew we were all doing the same thing; worrying.

Two-Bit was looking angry again. It kinda made me nervous, he didn't get angry often and he was unpredictable when he did. What was he mad at exactly? At the Socs? At Dally for not telling Soda where they were? At Darry for fighting with Ponyboy? At himself for not staying with us? At Pony and Johnny for fighting back? He stood up suddenly and announced he was going to talk to Dally. Soda and I stood up at the same time to go with him. We didn't have to wait long to see Dally though.

We had no more than stood up when Dallas Winston himself opened the door in our faces.

"Ah. What a night, huh?" He said pushing past us and making himself at home on the couch where Sodapop had been sitting. "I think the fuzz has got meaner." He said holding up his right arm to show us a red mark he was rubbing, presumably it had been made by hand cuffs.

"What did ya get picked up for Dal?" Soda asked the question for me.

"Eh, guess I got a bad reputation or somethin'. They think I do everything 'round here." He said and started watching TV like it was an everyday thing that two of his friends killed someone and he got picked up for it.

Me and Soda sat down and watched Dally.

"Where are they at Dal?" Two-Bit asked as he walked to stand in front of Dally, he was still mad and I was a little afraid he might yank Dally up and bust his face.

Dally must have saw it too, because he sighed and shook his head like he didn't want to answer.

He started off with a huff, "I think they said something about Texas." He snapped.

"Texas?" Two-Bit and Soda asked at the same time.

"Dally!" I shouted.

I was losing my temper, and I knew I shouldn't with Dallas Winston. I just couldn't help it though. 'That was so dumb.' I thought. 'Why did he let them go to Texas?'

"Texas? Why Texas? They don't know anyone in Texas! What are they going to do there? What were you thinking?"

I was going off and couldn't stop. Not until he scared me silent by jumping up and gaping down into my face.

"Hold up, Lucy," He shouted. "I didn't ask to be the one to hid them, and I didn't tell them to knife that Soc. Don't blow up at me just because your little boyfriend over reacted. At least I didn't take the only coat he had off his back."

I had never been spoken to like that before. It was venom. His eyes, they were still ranting at me after his voice had died off.

Soda and Two-Bit were staring open-mouthed and shocked at us.

I think it hurt my pride most of all. I felt about an inch tall having him yell at me like that in front of my friends. I knew I asked for it, I started it. I was mad enough to slap his face even thought I was trying not to be. I was logical enough not to slap Dally of all people anyway. My anger was rising and I could feel my face turning red. I was famous for having a hot temper.

Thank God for Sodapop.

"Calm down Dally. She didn't mean it." Soda said gingerly walking over and laying a hand on Dally's shoulder.

I glared at him when he said this. How dare he say I didn't mean it? But I knew he was saving me from more yelling at the least, so I kept my mouth shut and just sat there and shook and got redder.

"We are all worried and a little on edge I guess." Soda said to both of us.

The thought that Dally was just as worried as I was, hadn't crossed my mind.

"Let's have a smoke and everybody just calm down." He said sitting down beside me and holding out his hand for a cigarette.

Soda didn't smoke much, but I figured now was as good of a time as any to start.

I didn't want to stay in that house anymore. Everyone was tense and mopy. I was cooling down from the cigarette. I could worry just as well at my house.

"I'll see you guys later." I said as I stood up looking around the room.

My eyes stopped on Dally.

"Sorry, Dal." I said and we quickly and carelessly clasped hands for a moment.

A sign of truce.

"Sodapop's right, I didn't mean it."

That was the first time me and Dally had ever shook hands, it was the first time we ever had a reason to. We had disagreements, but never anything big enough to actually get mad over.

"Hold up Lose, I'll walk you home." Soda said stamping out his cigarette.

Dally and Two-Bit looked at him kind of weird. None of the gang was really what one would call 'Gentlemen'. Soda knew by our expressions that the three of us were waiting for and explanation.

"You know this means all-out war. I figure everyone will have to pick a side now." He explained.

I think he just wanted an excuse to get out of the house for a bit.

On the way to my house we didn't talk much. We smoked more cigarettes and let our minds think the worst, unchecked. I put my arm around him as we walked.

"Everything's gonna be alright, you'll see. They'll prolly show up tomorrow, and eat ya'll outta house and home. This thing will blow over and everything will go back to normal. You'll see." I said and smiled half-heartedly.

I couldn't lie worth a flip. He smiled at me just as poorly as I had.

"I'm sure your right, Lose." He said.

We were both lying, but it was the best hope we had at the moment.

"So you and Johnny, huh?" He asked.

I figured he just wanted to think about something happier for a change.

"Yea." I said kicking a stone into the street.

Soda looked off in the distance ahead and I did the same. A black street with gray sidewalks on both sides, littered with trash, and the edges of the side walk merged into unkempt lawns with shabby houses and ugly fences. I wondered if everyone saw the something when they looked at it like that. Soda brought me out of it.

"Are you and Johnny- ya know? Are ya 'll-?" He said looking green.

Really? The talk? From Soda? Ew! I didn't know what to say so I just looked at him like I didn't know what he was getting at, and I hoped I was wrong with what I was thinking.

"I mean it's none of my business, just I'd hate to see something bad happen. Ya know what I mean, kid?"

Unfortunately I did.

"It's ok Sodapop. We know, you haven't got anything to worry about."

No thanks to me.

I didn't know why he cared. Soda was damn good looking, he knew it too, and he knew all the girls knew it. He usually bragged about that kind of thing.

"You won't be uncle Soda for a long time."

He laughed.

"Uncle Soda, huh? On your side or Johnny's?"

"Well my side of course. Johnny can clam Dal if he wants."

Soda let out a humorous sigh, "Gezz, that'll be a messed up kid." He said laughing.

"Soda!" I said embarrassedly. "It's out of the question so let's not even talk about it."

That was pretty much the end of our chattering.

"See ya later Sodapop. Thanks for bringing me home." I said once we were at my house.

"Anytime Lose. See ya." He said before he turned to leave

I knew my mom would have a ton of questions for me. I was right. I hadn't noticed she had been sitting on the porch when me and Soda walked up.

"Who was that, honey?" She asked looking from the crossword in the paper.

I looked back at Sodapop leaving. So it began.

"That's Soda Curtis, mom. You remember his mom don't you?"

I remembered they worked at the hospital at the same time.

"Yes. I didn't know her well though. We only worked together for a month. I only meet her boys once. Was that one you bo?" She asked watching Soda leave.

Ew mom.

"No. Sodapop's my friend mom. That's all."

She nodded knowingly

"Was he involved in the killing?"

I had seen it coming so I sat down in the swing and lit a cigarette. I told her the whole story, starting when I met the boys at the double last night, and ending with what Soda told us this morning. She didn't even say anything about me being all night. She was just quite for a long time and looked at me and kept nodding.

"You and Johnny, huh?" She asked.

It felt like the thousandth time that day. And I thought it was funny that she asked it the same way Soda had. But the way she asked, it wasn't really a question directed at me, it was more like something she was just thinking through.

"Do you think he did it?"

That was a question for me. It was probably the only thing she was really worried about. I wish she knew them like I did. I had known the Curtis boys about three years, and Johnny probably that long. But I had known Two-Bit as long as I could remember. They were all pretty good guys at heart. Steve had a bad attitude. Dally had a temper. Two-Bit had sticky fingers. Soda was a Romeo. Johnny was paranoid. Ponyboy was absent-minded. Darry was prideful. But hey, everyone had flaws and I could name as much good as bad stuff about them.

I didn't want to say 'yes', but I knew. I lit another cigarette and took a few puffs. My mom didn't say anything about my smoking. As long as I didn't smoke in the house, and she didn't have to pay for them, she said I was old enough to make my own mistakes. My mom usually trusted my judgment and she said if smoking was the worst thing I did, she could live with it.

"I know he wouldn't have done it without a good reason. It's just not like him or Ponyboy. I don't think anybody can believe it."

She was quite for another long time. By the time she spoke again I had finished my smoke and was putting the butt in a pop bottle I kept on the porch for that reason.

"Lucy, are you sure these are the friends you want to have?" She asked and let out a worried breath.

Do or die time.

"Mom, they are the best friend anyone could have. I care about them. Mom this is one of those times you are going to have to trust me. Don't worry I'll be fine."

She studied me hard.

"Ok Lucy, you win. But I want to meet some of these boys, and I don't want you staying out all night anymore."

Sigh of relief.

"Sure mom. Thanks."

"And by the way," She added. "Your dad is coming into town for your birthday. Act surprised."

I had one of those freakish families, where even though my dad left us and got a new wife, we all still got along. I mean all of us. My mom and dad got along, even my mom and step-mom. I think that is because my mom is secretly an angel.

"Maybe that would be a good time to invite your friends over, so we can all meet them." She suggested.

Oh joy.

I immediately decided to ask Soda and Two-Bit, and leave my dad and step-mom out of the equation. Soda was charming and good with parents, and I figured Two-Bit could lighten the mood.

"That sounds good mom."


	3. Tables Turned

The next three days were weird. Ponyboy and Johnny didn't come back. I missed both of them. But what could I do? I finally got it out of Dally that he knew where they were, and he was sure they were fine. It was a relief, but Dally made me swear I wouldn't tell anyone. Times got meaner with the Socs. Darry gave me a switch to carry around. Even my mom was noticing. The Socs thought I was a trader, and the guys were afraid I would become one. I took to just sitting on the Curtis' couch waiting on Soda and Darry to get home from work.

Something interesting did happen though.

One night we all were hanging out in the lot. It didn't feel right with two of us missing, but Steve had jacked some firecrackers and we were having an alright time throwing them at each other.

"Who's that?" Darry said looking at the little red sports car that was pulling into the lot.

It was Cherry Valance.

"What does she want?" Dally said and jogged over to her car.

I guess we all saw all the things that could go wrong with that at the same time, because we all went to the car behind him.

"Everyone's getting ready for a rumble. I shouldn't be here, but I thought you should know." She said shyly while she was still sitting in her car.

"Damn." Darry mumbled, but everyone else stayed fairly quiet except for Dally.

"Hey sweetheart, how 'bout a coke? Ya know, to kinda repay the favor." He said with his own swagger.

"Go to hell Dallas Winston. I'm not doing this for you." She said bitterly.

He called her some awful things then stalked off.

"Can I talk to you?" She said looking directly at me.

I nodded and went around to the passenger seat and closed the door.

"You're Johnny's girl, Lucy right?" She asked.

For the first time a horrible thought crossed my mind. Was I still Johnny's Brown Eyed Girl if there was no Johnny? I was starting to feel like maybe I had dreamed that wonderful night. That was stupid. If I had just dreamed it, he wouldn't be in this mess.

I nodded and noticed her eyes were misty. I wordlessly extended my pack of cigarettes to her. She took one so I handed her my lighter too. She lit the stick and took a drag immediately. She coughed on the smoke. It looked so wrong, the gray smoke around her face, the cigarette between her neatly manicured fingers. Sitting in the car with her, it occurred to me the first time that my boyfriend killed her boyfriend, and how easily the tables could have been turned. Bob could be the one hiding and Johnny could be the one dead. I tried to image that for a second, but I couldn't, it was too painful. Would I have been forgiving enough to have warned the Socs what was coming? I didn't think so.

"I wish this had never happened." She said quietly.

I couldn't look at her anymore.

"Me too." I said to the floor.

"Do you thin Johnny meant to kill him?"

"Don't ever say anything like that about Johnny again." I snapped. "From what the cops said it was your lot who started it."

She sighed and wiped her eyes.

"I know." She choked. "I'm sorry. This is probably harder on Johnny than either of us."

I had tried not to think about that. I figured she was right.

"It was nice talking to you, Lucy. I just wanted you to know, I'm not picking sides. There are no hard feelings, ok?" She said, and smiled the saddest smile I had ever saw.

But it was honest.

If the tables had been turned, I couldn't have done that.

"You're alright Cherry." I said and smiled as best I could with my raw nerves being what they were.

The third day was my birthday. Soda said 'yes' as soon as I asked him about dinner. He said my mom was pretty and he remembered her from when his mom introduced them a few years ago, and he said he wouldn't mind meeting her again. Two-Bit on the other hand was apprehensive, but he agreed too.

I went home early that day so I could change from my tee-shirt and jeans, into something more lady like. Soon there was a knock at the door. My dad and step-mom were here. I ran to open the door.

"There's my best girl." Dad said as soon as the door was opened.

I loved my dad. He was tall and handsome. His eyes were brown, just like mine. He had black hair and a muscular frame. He had the kind of smile that was warm and friendly.

He wrapped me up in a big hug and I didn't want to let go. I felt safer in his arms than I had in three days.

"I have a surprise for you." He said.

I let go and looked at him eagerly. My dad always gave me the best gifts. He sent me a good allowance and a nice card or letter every month, and came for every Holliday, and I stayed with him for a few weeks every summer. I wasn't missing out on much I thought.

He put his arm around Betty, his wife, and it took me a minute to realize she was pregnant, very pregnant.

"I'm going to be a big sister." I shrieked and hugged her too.

"There's one more thing." Dad said and led me out onto the porch.

"How do you think you will look going to the drive-in in that?" He said pointing to a shiny new, baby blue, 1967 Chevelle.

My jaw dropped and my heart skipped a beat. I knew how to drive and today I was sixteen and old enough to get my driver's license.

"Oh daddy!" I said and jumped to wrap my arms around his neck.

"Can we go for a ride?" I asked.

I was so excited I couldn't control myself, and I began to bounce.

"Calm down Tiger, I'll take you to get your license tomorrow, and you can drive it all you want then."

I was disappointed I couldn't take it for a spin right away, but I was so happy I momentarily forgot my worries. But where were sharp stings of reality when I would want Johnny to meet my father or when I would think I really wanted to pick him up and go to the movies, just me and him. Then I would remember and my high would be weakened.

At 4:30 Sodapop and Two-Bit showed up. Oh boy. I got nervous when I answered the door. They had both spruced up for the occasion it seemed. They both looked clean and Two-Bit's hair looked better than usual. Of course they both had too much grease in their hair, but it looked good. Soda had his combed over to the side, it was becoming. They both had on button up shirts, Two-Bit's black, and Soda's white.

"You look as square as I feel." Two-Bit said disgustedly looking at my skirt.

"I think you look real nice." Soda said.

I felt more awkward standing there with them than I ever had before

"Both of you shut up. This is bad enough without your opinions." I said and led them to the dining room.

Me and my dad had been sitting at the table playing cards, and my mom and step-mom were in the kitchen cooking.

"Daddy, these are my friends." I said when he stood as we walked in the room.

"This is Sodapop Curtis." Dad shook his hand and Soda said, "Hello."

"This is T- Keith Mathews." I stuttered.

Soda almost laughed and Two-Bit looked surprised. Dad shook his and too and we all sat down at the table. The next few minutes were awkward. Why the hell did I agree to this?

"That's a tuff lookin' car you got mister Claywell." Two-Bit piped in.

My dad smiled and looked at him but I knew he was itching to correct Two-Bit's grammar.

"Thank you, son. But its Lucy's, for her birthday."

Two-Bit looked excited. No doubt he wanted to take it for a drive as badly as I did. I smiled at the potential.

I was surprised when Two-Bit engaged my dad in a conversation about motors and wheels and pistons. I was even more surprised when they both seemed to be enjoying themselves. Soda didn't jump in like I thought he would, that surprised me too. I nudged him lightly with my elbow.

"Don't worry so much, they'll be back." I said quietly and smiled at him.

He looked at me with blank eyes.

"Can we smoke?" He asked.

Was he that worried about Pony? I wanted to tell him what Dally told me, that they were safe. But I swore I wouldn't.

"Sure, we have to go outside though."

Sodapop and me stood up.

"Excuse us." I said to my dad.

Me and soda went out and sat on the swing. Oddly he had his own pack of smokes and we both took one out of it and lit up.

"What's buggin' ya?" I asked.

"Sandy, man. I guess you don't know, but we kinda got ourselves in a little bit of trouble. I told her it'd be ok, that I'd be an ok dad, husband too. But she said no. She came by the DX today and said it wasn't even mine. Can you imagine? It wasn't even mine, and she was going to live with her grandmother. I told her I didn't care who's it was, I loved her anyway ya know? But she still left."

He looked so pale. No wonder he was worried about me and Johnny, he didn't want me to break Johnny's heart like Sandy broke his.

"Soda." I said gently.

He had started crying somewhere in his story and wiped under his eyes roughly. What was I supposed to say? What insightful advice could I give to make him feel better?

"Just give her some time. I bet she's scared, I would be." I said and fiddled with the lit end of my cigarette.

"I know she is." Soda sighed. "Her dad's really being hard on her. I just wish she'd let me do the right thing. It could have been mine just as easy as anybody else's. I'd take care of her and the baby too. I don't know, I'd get another job or something, and get us a house."

I knew he saw telling the truth. He wasn't lazy and he wasn't one to shirk responsibility.

"I know you would Soda. Just give her some time. Maybe you could write her a letter or something?" I suggested.

He thought that through for a minute and puffed his cigarette.

"That's a good idea, Lose. How'd you get so smart?" He asked with a grin.

I laughed.

"I'm a girl. Didn't you know? We know everything."

He laughed but he wasn't his happy-go-luck self. He hadn't been lately, and who could blame him? We were all off, and trying not to show it. Now the poor kid had something else to bother him.

We went back in and my mom was sitting the food on the table.

Two-Bit ate two helpings and kept us all laughing, just like I knew he would.

Soda charmed my mom and step-mom with compliments, just like I knew he would.

It was nice to spend time with my family. But I would have traded it all, even my new car, to have things back to the way they were before. That's what I wished for when I blew out my candles.

My dad made a toast. It went like this.

"_Sixteen years ago today, we were blessed with the most wonderful daughter God has ever blessed parents with. She has changed our world, and I know it is only a small feat compared to how she will change the rest of the world in the next sixteen years."_

He then raised his glass, "Lucy, to you. We love you."

Everyone touched their glasses together. My dad even let Two-Bit toast with wine, it didn't hurt that Two-Bit acted like it was a completely new experience for him. Toasting with expensive red wine probably was a new experience. Soda, Betty and me had to toast with grape juice though. I didn't mind.

At 8:00 my dad and step mom left for their hotel, he shook hands with the boys again, and patted Two-Bit on the back, I couldn't believe how well they hit it off.

After that Two-Bit and Soda said they were going to jet too.

My mom kissed Sodapop's cheek and said, "Keep your chin up."

I knew he would get ragged about that.

The next the day my dad did take me to get my license. After lunch I dropped him and Betty off at the train station. We said our goodbyes and he said he would see me at Thanksgiving.

When I was finally alone again, sitting in the parking lot in my new car, I felt lonelier and emptier that I ever had before. I knew what to do though.

I hightailed it to the Curtis' house. Of course they were both at work, but Dallas and Two-Bit seemed to have the same idea as me. I was sitting on the couch and wanted so bad to look around and see Ponyboy, Johnny, mister, and missus Curtis. I knew I wouldn't. I tossed my keys to Two-Bit and told him to bring it back in one piece, then to keep my hands and mind busy, I cleaned the whole house and cooked. Two-Bit came back for dinner, but without Dally. No one thought much about that, until the next day.


	4. Living in a War Zone

I stayed that whole night at the Curtis's, and honestly I was dreading having to explain it to my mom, so I stayed the nest day too. I just couldn't stand the thought of sitting all night in that empty house. Darry told me to make myself at home, so I did. Would things ever be right again? I knew they wouldn't.

After Soda and Darry left for work I started cleaning and baking. I baked more than I ever had before. The boys about scared me to death that evening when burst through the front door. They both started stripping when they came through the door; I was use to that from Soda, that's just how he was. But Darry jerked off a filthy tee-shirt and threw it on floor and made for the bedroom. "I'm gonna kill Dallas Winston." He said angrily walking out of the living room.

Soda came in the kitchen, he was trying to put on a shirt and buckle his jeans at the same time, and it wasn't working out so well.

"Their back, Lose! Ponyboy, Dally and Johnny. They're at the hospital. Come on." He said without stopping.

His voice was muffled with his shirt across his mouth like that, but he didn't have to tell me twice. I had already made myself at home in Pony's closet, and was clean except for a little bit of flower.

"Hospital?" I asked; we were already headed for the door. "Are they alright?" We were now climbing in the truck and Darry was starting the engine.

"Ponyboy's fine." Soda paused. "They wouldn't tell us about Johnny and Dally though."

'Ponyboy is alright. No matter what happens, it could be worse.' I repeated that to myself a million times on the way to the hospital. When we got there we found Pony sitting in the waiting room with a strange man. For some reason he was covered in black stuff. Why?

I couldn't breathe. Don't get me wrong, I was relieved that Pony was ok; I'd been worried about him too. But why wasn't Johnny and Dally with him? 'Pony's ok, it could be worse.' I started saying to myself again.

Soda was first to run and meet Pony. He was grinning like he used to. Radiant, glowing, relaxed, like Sodapop. Darry cried and hugged both of them.

I couldn't cry; I couldn't smile either. I was propped against the door frame, holding on with both hands behind my back. I felt like I was in another universe, watching us in the waiting room.

"Where's Johnny?" I asked.

My voice was weak and cracking, it didn't feel like me who said it, but I knew it was. They all turned to look at me like they forgot I was there.

It was Pony who spoke. "Lose, it was the fire. It was- He- I don't think he's doin' so good."

I couldn't breathe, I was going down. The floor was getting closer. My eyes were wet. Was this the first time I had cried? It was. Why hadn't I cried? Was I that hopeful? I was. Did I ever think this would end well? I had hoped. Darry caught me before I hit the floor. He and Soda put me in a chair. I knew everything that was going on, but I couldn't respond. I knew Soda had his hand on my shoulder and Pony had his hand on my knee and they were talking softly, no doubt trying to comfort me. My mind was running away with me too much. How could I let this happen? Why didn't I go find him? Why didn't I tell my dad? He could've helped. Someone was washing my face with a cool towel. I think it was Darry. Then they practically dragged me down the hall.

"They said we can see him." Darry said and then mumbled something about circumstances, I only really heard the first part, it had broken through my fog.

We could see Johnny? After all this time, I was going to see him. My legs wouldn't move; I stopped.

"Come on, Lose. It's alright, we can see Johnny." Soda said and tried to get me to move.

It worked. Three steps later we were in the door way of a white room, Johnny was lying on a bed of white sheets, with one pulled up to his bare chest. He had angry black burns all over his arms and the part of his torso that was visible; thank God his face was unharmed. Just seeing him brought me out of my fog completely.

"Oh, Johnny!" I cried and ran to his bedside. I wanted to touch him but I was scared to.

I started to boo-who and ball.

Johnny groaned. "Is that my Brown Eyed Girl?" He asked so quietly I could barely make it out, but I did.

I smiled and cried at the same time. I still was Johnny's girl. I took his hand and he smiled lightly. I forgot we weren't the only two people in the world at that moment. Before the Curtis boys got to do more than see Johnny, they were carted away by cops and reporters.

Selfishly, I was glad. I was thankful for being alone with Johnny. He was weak and kept making painful gasps.

"Johnny?" I asked wiping my eyes and trying to end my sobbing. "What happened?"

It was hard for Johnny to talk and his story came slow and quiet.

"There was a fire in the church. There was all these kids in there, me and Pony and Dally-" he stopped and started getting excited. "Where's Dally? Did he make it out? Is he alright?"

"Shh. He's here Johnny. He's ok."

I wasn't sure about that but I wasn't going to worry Johnny for Dally's sake. Johnny looked tired. I kept holding onto his hand and pulled a white, straight backed chair to his bedside. Johnny was asleep before I was sit down. I sat there and silently said the longest, most sincere pray of thanks I ever had. "Pony was ok, Johnny was alive. It could be worse.' I repeated again, now Dally. After a few hours of watching Johnny sleep I tore my eyes off of him and stood up. I tried to let go of his hand but something in my head kept saying, 'don't let go of him, you know what happened last time.' I squeezed his hand a little more and almost changed my mind about leaving him. 'Don't be stupid!' I thought, and then I leaned down and pushed his bangs off his forehead and kissed it. 'I love you Johnny Cade.' I thought it more than said it but it was, none the less, true.

I silently tip-toed down the hall and peaked in each room. Finally I saw Dally lying on a bed looking pissed off and restless. His left arm was bandaged, but otherwise he looked ok.

"Dally." I whispered, so he would know it was me and I was coming in.

"Lose!" He said. And shot up and slung his feet off one side of the bed. "Thank God you're here man. Got a weed? I'm about to die for a smoke. Damn those two huh? Try to kill all of us tryin' to be heroes." He said.

Good old Dally, thinking of only himself and in all choppy sentences. I was crying, but the soundless kind, with only tears running down my face. I sat down on the end of his bed and tossed him my pack of cigarettes and the lighter. He took one and lit it and closed his eyes as he took a draw.

"Thanks for this." He said meaning the smoke.

I looked at him surprised. Dally said thank you? He looked at me and frowned.

"Come here." He said as he slid closer to me and slipped his cigarette free, bandaged arm around my shoulder.

That surprised me too, but I started to ball again and I buried my face in his chest. He clumsily pet my hair.

"It's alright Lose. You'll see, we'll all be alright. Don't cry honey." He said in a soothing tone.

Was he high? They had to have given him too much morphine. Then I remembered what Soda said, 'we're all worried.' Dally was worried about Johnny. Johnny had been worried about Dally. I knew then I wouldn't ever understand the way they cared about each other. They were so different, but maybe that was the reason, they kind of completed each other. I knew with that thought, I would never be able truly love Johnny without accepting Dallas Winston completely as he was. Dally kept petting me and lying to me. I couldn't speak to him though, I was crying too much. 'Ponyboy's ok, Johnny's alive, Dally's fine. It could be worse.' I started thinking again. Then I blacked out.

"Lucy. Lucy, wake up." I woke up to Two-Bit's voice and a hand shaking me awake.

For a second I didn't know where I was but then I realized I was in a hospital room, lying on a bed, with my feet hanging off the end and my head in Dally's lap, he still had his hand on my hair. I also realized Johnny was in a room down the hall, and I hadn't spoken to my mom in going on three days.

I jumped up.

"I've gotta call my mom, she's gonna kill me." I said flustered.

Two-Bit, Pony, and Dally looked at me kind of surprised.

"It's ok Lose." Two-Bit said. "Soda called your mom last night and explained things. She's not mad. I brought your car for ya."

"Thanks." I said. "Have you saw Johnny this morning? How is he?" I asked.

There was too much weird stuff going on. Dally had been nice. He let me sleep in his lap. He and Pony and Johnny were heroes, they saved children from a fire. Johnny was dying, I knew it, we all did. He was still a murderer. There was a rumble tonight, the biggest in years. Life was a war zone and I was standing among the casualties.

"Yea how's Johnny man?" Dally asked.

Pony had been crying and Two-Bit looked pale and grave.

It was Two-Bit who answered looking down. "I don't know much about things like this, but, it don't look good. He passed out cold before we left."

Dally's face fell and he looked down. I shrieked a little bit without meaning to and ran out of the room. I was running down the hall. 'Ponyboy's fine, Dally's fine, Johnny's dying. It could be worse.' No, no, no, that wasn't right. 'Pony's fine Dally's fine, Johnny… my Johnny.' 'It don't look so good.' I heard in Two-Bit's voice. Why wasn't it working today? I started thinking something new. 'Not my Johnny. No God please anybody but my Johnny.' I was crying hard. I walked into Johnny's room. There were two nurses washing him with a sponge and a doctor was writing on a clipboard.

"You can't see him now. I'm sorry." The doctor said laying his hand on my shoulder. His expression said more than his words.

After a moment of sitting on the floor outside of Johnny's door, a nurse brought me a chair. I sat there so long my back and legs started to cramp. My nerves made me sick to my stomach. My mom came that day. She dropped to her knees in front of my chair and wrapped her arms around me. I clung to her for all I was worth, and sobbed. My mom had a long talk with the doctor. She used to be a nurse there and she still had connections. But when she came back, she said it really didn't look good.

She took me home and sat me down at the table. I was back in my fog, but I guess I didn't have tears left, because I wasn't crying. I could hear her talking but I didn't know what she was saying. Her voice sounded like it was coming from a hundred miles away. She sat a cup of coffee down in front of me.

"Dr. Lawson is the best doctor we have; if anything can be done he'll do it. It's in God's hand now." She said then went about fixing dinner.

I had forgotten about the rumble. I heard the phone ring but I didn't look away from my coffee cup. Turns out it was Cherry who called.

"Hello." I said into the receiver after my mom took me to the living room and put the phone to my ear.

"Lucy, I heard about Johnny, I'm sorry."

Sorry? Why was she sorry? Johnny wasn't dead, yet.

"Are you going to the rumble tonight?" She asked after a minute or two of me not saying anything.

Oh yea. How had I forgotten the rumble? Was I going? Of course I was. I remembered what I said to Johnny that fatal night, 'you and Ponyboy and Two-Bit are my friends, so is the rest of the gang.' Friends; and friends stick up for one another. 'I would have taken your side tonight if it had come to it.' Well, it had come to it.

"I'm going, Cherry. For Johnny."

It was her turn to be quite.

I heard her sigh heavily and then, "Are you sure that's what he would want?"

Was that what Johnny wanted? I couldn't say 'yes' truthfully, but I had to do something.

"I have to go Cherry." I said lowly.

"I know. I guess we all have a reason to go." She said resigned.

"Yea, I guess so."

"I'll see you soon."

She would. I wished it would be under better circumstances. I hung up the phone and looked at the clock, 5:34. I noticed my mom watching me. She looked so worried and sorry. I couldn't look at her anymore; I could feel my eyes start to prickle again. I made it to the Curtis house at 5:38. I didn't live far from them, but that was still impressive.

No one said anything to me when I walked in. They hardly even noticed. They were too busy getting psyched up for the fight. It was a war, they were the shoulders. The radio was blaring and everyone looked great, except for Ponyboy. After a minute of just standing by the door watching I sat down next to Darry. He looked so much better since Pony was back. I was noticing something different about him, but I couldn't put my finger on just what it was.

"What are you doin', Lose?" He asked.

I thought it was obvious so I didn't answer.

"You can't go." He said.

Like hell.

"I'm going for Johnny." I said blankly.

Hadn't I said that before?

"Lucy." He said.

Pony came and sat on my other side, apparently he had been listening.

"You can't fight." Darry said softly.

It was true I had never actually been in a real fight, but I was pretty sure I could hold my own given the chance.

"Darry's right Lose. Johnny wouldn't want ya to get blood on your hands. It's killin' him that he has it. Don't fight. For Johnny's sake, don't fight." Pony said coaxingly.

Johnny wouldn't want me to fight? He fought. He fought lots of times, he killed a guy. I knew it wasn't by choice. Johnny wouldn't hurt a fly if he could help it. He was the opposite of Dally. I knew Pony was right. I remembered what Cherry had said, 'This is probably harder on Johnny than either of us.' I knew it had to be eating away at him, and I couldn't live with blood on my hands, I wasn't that tough.

"I'm still goin'. I won't fight, but I have to be there." I said.

They agreed to let me go strictly to watch. I guess they understood why, I had a dog in this fight too, so to speak. It concerned me too.

We went to the set location for the fight, the lot. Tim Shepard's outfit was there, and the Brumbly boys. If I was going to be scared of anybody there, it would be them.

I parked my car at the edge of the lot and waited. Cherry came up and knocked at the window. She sat down in the passenger seat and didn't say a word. Soon Darry stepped forward from the Greaser side and another guy stepped forward from the Soc side. They started to circle each other like rabid dogs. The fight was starting. Me and Cherry held our breath. We had the windows down so we didn't miss a familiar voice.

"You know a rumble and a rumble without me."

Dally did make it. Cherry shuttered, but I smiled. Not that the rest of the gang didn't have a reason to fight, but Dallas was there for Johnny, I knew it. Johnny was going to be avenged; By Dallas Winston. His shout was like a Calvary charge. The fight began. It was heard to tell individuals apart. But the difference in the Greasers and Socs made them easy to tell apart. I saw socs taking the worst end of things. Pony was easy to tell apart, he was the smallest; he jumped on a soc's back. Oh God, a soc just kicked him in the head. Somebody had a board, which was against the rules. A soc ran, then another, then more. We won. The greasers were whopping and shouting in victory.

Two boys came running to my car, stumbling like they were drunk. It was Dally and Ponyboy. Dally jerked Cherry out of the car and roughly pushed Pony into the back seat.

"Drive." He said lowly.

I didn't have to ask where to. I floored the gas and we made it to the hospital without incident. Dally looked mad and kept saying things like, 'should've knowed better' and 'it's what ya get' and punching the dash. Ponyboy stayed quiet, he looked sick.

I parked by the door and barely got the engine off before I was out of the car and running behind the boys. We found Johnny looking even worse.

"Hey Johnny, we won." Dally said walking to Johnny's side. "We really whooped 'em good."

Johnny was pale and barely breathing. I started to cry, Pony had too. Even Dally looked like he was on the verge of it. We all gave up looking tuff.

"Fightin' ant no good man." Johnny said.

He was weak and his voice was so low and his breathing was so heavy, he could barely be heard. Dally was holding his hand so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

"Brown Eyed Girl." Johnny whispered and the corners of his mouth twitched.

I knew he would be smiling if he could. I smiled too; I couldn't ever help it when he smiled.

"Pony," He whispered, and Pony leaned in closer. "Stay gold."

Johnny was saying his goodbyes. We all knew it.

"Don't you die on me kid." Dally said angrily. He pushed Johnny's hair back and kept talking. "This is watcha get for helpin' people, punk." He said bitterly. "Don't you die." He shouted again.

But Johnny was limp and silent and his big dark eyes were closed.

Me and Pony didn't speak. Dally ran out of the room and punched the wall as he did so. I lay across Johnny's lifeless body and held him as tight as I could. Pony backed out of the room slowly.

That was when a nurse came in. she took his wrist and checked for a pulse. Her eyes got round and she pried me off of him.

"You have to leave, there may still be time" She said pushing me out.

There was time? I was in shock but I had faith. I hit my knees outside of Johnny's room and prayed. Doctors rushed past me, I kept praying. I lost track of time. When someone tapped me on the shoulder I stood up, and that's when I noticed how stiff I was.

"We have done all we can. He's not out of the woods yet, but you are doing all that can be done. It's in God's hand now." Said a big gray haired doctor, then he walked away with his head down.

I walked back into Johnny's room, he looked do awful. He was breathing heard and his eyes were still closed. But he was alive. I took his hand in mine. He was warm. He opened his eyes and smiled brightly.

He squeezed my hand and spoke, "Go home Lucy, you look like hell. I'll be here tomorrow."

That was so Johnny. I smiled back at him; I leaned down and gently wrapped my arms around him.

"I love you Johnny Cade." I whispered in his ear.

I had to say it. I thought I had lost him already, and he had to know before it was too late.

"Lucy I ant goin' nowhere. I love you too, I always have, but I'll be back soon and we can tell each other all the time. Dally's says I gotta good chance of getting' off easy." He said quietly.

His voice was stronger than before. I was so elated I couldn't help but smile. I rose up and kissed him on the lips. Oh, I hadn't ever realized how much I had missed that until I felt his lips on mine.

I left the hospital exhausted and smiling that night. 'I'll be here tomorrow. I ant goin' nowhere. I love you too.' I heard the things he said to me over and over. I was so tired, but I had to tell the gang the great news.


	5. I swear

When I got back to the Curtis house it was 3:00 am I knew they would all be there bragging and raiding the first aid kit and the fridge. I was almost right. There were bandages, peroxide, iodine and things like that spread out on the coffee table, and Soda was picking at a slice of chocolate cake. I wanted to tell Pony and Dally the good news first, but they seemed to be the only two missing. I was smiling but everyone else was looking grave.

"Where's Ponyboy?" I asked Darry.

He pointed down the hall with his thumb.

"He's in his bedroom. He told us about Johnny."

Soda came up by my side and put a hand on my shoulder. He looked so sympathetic and understanding. Now, the whole gang was my friends, and in the last week we had all gotten a lot closer, none us would say that, but I loved Sodapop the most.

"How are you holdin' up?" He asked.

I hugged him tightly around his waist.

"It's not true." I said.

Soda looked at me like I was crazy, Darry looked shocked and happy.

"Really?" Darry asked.

I let go of Soda.

"Yes. Johnny's alive and well." I said through a smile. "Where's Dallas? I want to tell him and Pony the good news."

There was a loud round of whoops and hollers.

"Pony's here, but Dally ran off." Darry told me.

He ran off. Oh God. I knew he would take it hard, but it wasn't true. I hopped he heard the truth before he did something we would all regret.

I went down the hall to Ponyboy's room, and knocked on the door. He didn't answer so I slowly pushed it open. He was lying on his bed, face down. I knew he was crying, Johnny was his best buddy.

"Pony?" I said as I sat down on the bed beside him and laid my hand on his back.

He turned his head to look at me. His face was red and wet. I was right, bless his heart, he had been crying.

"Ponyboy, Johnny's alright. The doctor came in right after you left. He didn't die; he was talking and smiling when I left. He said he'd be there tomorrow. Pony, Johnny's gonna be ok, I have faith."

Pony was evidently speechless. He hugged me. It was one of those times when words were insufficient. Darry's loud panicked voice broke through our ecstasy.

"The cops are after Dally, We have to hide him." He said and he led the whole gang out of the house at a run.

We were coming up on the park when we saw Dally run into the pool of light under the street lamp. The moment I saw him I was relieved, but a split second later sirens and lights filled the air. My heart dropped.

"No." It was a unanimous shout.

Dally lifted his hand and we could all see the gun in it.

"It's not loaded." Ponyboy shouted from my side.

'No. Not Dallas. Johnny can't take that. We can't take that.' I thought.

There were more shouts.

"Dally, Johnny's alive. Don't do it." I shouted.

Then Pony echoed me, "No Dally, Johnny's ok."

It was very chaotic. Dally stopped and lowered his gun halfway. He turned to look at us. The moment he turned our way a gunshot pierced the night, and Dallas Winston fell face forward.

Oh God, Dally.

We all crowded around his body. Two-Bit rolled him onto his back. I had never seen him before. His face was so peaceful. He was pale and his wispy blonde hair fell over his forehead and into his light blue eyes. His lips were curved into a friendly, relaxed smile. I had never seen him look like that, he was beautiful. His lips were pale pink, and his eyes weren't so fiery; so that's what Dallas looked like. Behind all his walls, behind his hate, he could have passed for an angel.

A cop rushed over with his gun pointed at us.

"Step back." He shouted.

Two-Bit tried to lunge at the police officer but Steve and Soda grabbed him by the arms and held him back. Me and Pony were knelt by Dally, we were both crying.

'Not now. I had just seen who he really was. Don't take Dally when Johnny needs him so much' I thought/prayed.

The cop bent down and cheeked Dally's wrist for a pulse after Two-Bit was under control. Steve didn't look so well. He looked like he might pounce on the cop himself.

"Call an ambulance." The cop shouted behind him.

"Is he alive?" Darry asked before anyone else could.

We were all on pins and needles waiting for the answer.

"Barely. Damn it" He mumbled.

What did he mean by that last part? Was he angry that he didn't kill Dallas out right? Or was he feeling the emotions of having to take a young man's life? The same emotions Johnny felt when he killed Bob.

I don't know what all happened between then and all of us sitting in the waiting room. I vaguely remember Darry pulling me and Ponyboy up and all of us piling into the front and back of Darry's truck. I don't remember going from the truck to the waiting room, but time came back to me.

"I'm startin' to get sick of hospitals." Soda said looking around the white room.

His eyes were so red and he looked just as troubled as the rest of us. We were all sick of hospitals and sick of waiting to hear bad news about our friends. I didn't know how much more we could take before one of us snapped, like Dally did. Pony pulled out a pack of smokes and I stopped his hand before he returned them to his shirt pocket, I took one, then Soda, then Steve and Two-Bit. After a minute there was cloud of gray smoke around our little group. I don't know how Darry could breath, being the only one of us who didn't smoke.

I gave thought to going to Johnny's room but I didn't. Partly because I wanted to be there when the doctor came around and partly because I knew he would be sleeping and he needed the rest, but mostly because I didn't want to be the one to tell him about Dally.

The doctor did come around eventually. Dally lived through the shot and the surgery. The doctor said it had been a close shave, but hey, Dallas could stand anything. It was the same gray haired man who had told me to pray for Johnny, Doctor Lawson. He said we couldn't see him then, but we could come back for morning visiting hours.

So we loaded back up and went to the Curtis's. We were all tired, me, Steve and Two-Bit invited ourselves to stay there for the few hours till we could see Johnny and Dally. Somehow I ended up lying across the bed with Pony and Soda on either side of me. Me and Pony could fit like that no problem, but Soda's feet were hanging off the edge. Soda was snoring softly, and I was in that place that's so close to sleep, but isn't.

"Lucy? Are you asleep?"

'Not now Pony.' I wanted to say. What could he possibly want to talk about that couldn't wait till morning?

"No Pony." I said sleepily.

"Do you think you could fall in love with Dally?" He asked, completely awake and serious.

Sleep was a distant thing now. What? That was the strangest question I had ever been asked. Did he think I was in love with Dally? I rolled onto my back before answering. Honestly, I didn't know how to answer. I thought the better question was, could Dally ever fall in love with anyone?

"I mean I know you like Johnny an awful lot, but what about Dally?" Pony asked.

He was seriously asking. I knew Pony well enough to know he didn't just go around asking stupid questions. He was naturally curious and this was really something that was on his mind. I tried to think about it for Pony's sake. Dally. He had a definite character; he was handsome in that headstrong, reckless, heartless kind of way. Yea, I could love him, but he was so- so Dallas, that he couldn't love anyone like that. No I couldn't be in love with him, he was too cold. Johnny was the only person he ever cared about, I realized that tonight; and I realized how much he really did care when I saw that he'd rather be dead than live without Johnny. I loved Dally, not _in love_ with him, but I cared. I was suddenly scared that Dallas would never know the kind of happiness I had with Johnny. He had too much hate for that.

"No." I said quietly, I was sad.

Pony was quiet too. He was thinking. Pony was different than the rest of the gang; he had his own thought process and feelings. No wonder Soda was his confidant, Soda was the one who could understand anybody, and it took someone special to understand Ponyboy. I'm sure no one else gave Dally's love life any thought, I certainly hadn't. Why was Pony thinking about it?

"Why?" I asked.

"Somethin' Cherry said. She said she could, and you're kinda like her. I don't know how she could be, but I don't think Dally could love her."

We were both quiet again, no doubt both of us were thinking about that. I wasn't like Cherry, unless he meant we were both girls. He had to have misunderstood her.

"You think about some weird stuff Ponyboy." I said. "Go to sleep."

We did.

I guess we were dead to the world because we didn't wake up when Darry and Soda got ready and left for work. I woke up to the phone ringing shrilly. I walked to the living room to answer it but Two-Bit had beaten me to it.

He was rubbing his eyes sleepily and yawning when he said, "Hello?"

I only heard his side of it but it went like this:

"Yea. He did."

"No, he made it."

"He's in the hospital now, but I kinda figure he'll be goin' away for a while after this."

"Lucy said Johnny'll be ok. We're goin' up there later, wanna come with us?"

"Come on over, we'll take Lucy's car."

Then he hung up and rubbed his eyes again.

"Who was that?" I asked.

I was headed for the kitchen, and coffee. Two-Bit was headed for the fridge.

"That was Cherry, she heard about Dally. She's going to the hospital with us. I wonder why." He said opening the door and browsing for food.

He mumbled something about chocolate milk, then got some out and poured himself a glass. I was preoccupied making coffee.

"Cherry's goin'?" Pony's sleepy voice asked from the door way.

He walked over and took the milk from Two-Bit, then he looked at me significantly, his expression was saying, 'remember what I told you last night? What did I tell you?'

No way. Was the soc, miss goody two shoes, soft hearted Cherry Valance in love with our Dally? Cold, hate filled, rude, inconsiderate Dallas Winston. They were too different. But then, he and Johnny were different.

The boys ate peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast and I had coffee while we waited on Cherry. When she got there I couldn't help but think how out of place she looked standing in the Curtis's house with us like that. She had on a light blue dress that fell just past he knees and her red hair was pinned up in curls behind her ears, and her face was made-up simply but beautifully. We all had on jeans and tee-shirts. I felt like I wanted to hide my face, I didn't have on a speck of make-up and to tell the truth I couldn't remember the last time I had ran a brush through my hair. I was wearing Pony's close which were too big for me. I remembered how she looked sitting in her car smoking my cigarette that time. It was just wrong.

It was Steve and Two-Bit who took cake of the conversation on the way to the hospital. I don't know why but we were all pretty quiet. I kept trying to picture Dally and Cherry as a couple. I tried to picture them sitting on the Curtis's couch, snuggled up watching a movie, or walking down the street holding hands, or kissing in the rain. I couldn't picture it, but I felt my eye brows wrinkled in the effort. It looked weird in my mind. Thinking about those things made me think about Johnny, and miss him. I wanted to sit close to him and watch a movie, and hold his hand, and kiss him. I could see me and Johnny doing that stuff or Steve and Evie or Soda and Sandy, but not Dally and Cherry. Not with each other anyway.

I couldn't think about it anymore, because we were at the hospital, and because it was just too weird, granted, I couldn't see Pony doing that stuff with anybody, ever.

I didn't want to be the one to tell Johnny what had happened last night, so on the way in I quietly explained that to Two-Bit.

"Shoot kid, you're his girl." He stated with a laugh.

I think he still hadn't gotten over the comical part of that fact.

"Don't worry, I'll explain things and make it sound real nice." He finished.

I didn't know how he was going to do that, but if it could be done, Two-Bit was the one to pull it off. So I followed him in like a puppy.

"Hey Johnnycake. It's time to rise and shine." Two-Bit said as we walked in.

Johnny raised himself up on his pillows sleepily.

"Hey fellas, how's it goin'?" He asked smiling.

How was he so cheery? He looked at all our faces individually.

"Hi Cherry. Where's Dal?"

'Ok Two-Bit, it's your time to shine.' I thought. We all walked a little closer to gather around Johnny, but Cherry didn't, she stood in the door way and chewed her thumbnail and looked at the floor. I looked at her and realized something, this was the first time she had saw Johnny since he killed Bob.

"Well Johnny, about that. Dally had a little run in with the cops last night, he kinda got shot up a little."

I guess Two-Bit saw that Johnny was about to start bombarding him with questions, so he went on a little faster.

"Now, hold up kid, don't give me that look. He's alright. He's in here too. He's probably gonna get sick of lookin' at a jail cell, but Dally's use to that. So don't worry huh?"

Johnny relaxed a little bit but still looked confused.

"He's never gonna learn." He mumbled.

I hoped he was wrong this time.

"Speakin' of witch, we better get down there and see Dal before the fuzz tell us we can't." Steve said and Two-Bit nodded.

They left and Cherry went with them, I don't think she ever did look at Johnny.

Johnny smiled at me when we were alone. It was the happiest I had ever saw him.

"You're beautiful." He said with that smile.

I smiled too and my checks went red. I kissed him. I had been thinking about kissing him all the way to the hospital, and I wasn't disappointed.

After a long moment he spoke into the kiss, "Lucy, I need to talk to you."

I pulled back and sat in the chair next to him.

"What do you want to talk about?"

The smile went away and he looked at me with sparkling dark eyes.

"Us, but I want you to hear me out."

I nodded. I wasn't worried, we loved each other.

"I don't think we should be together anymore. Now, hear me out. You've got your whole life ahead of you, and Lucy we both know we are too young to be in love and all that stuff. You're gonna find someone better, a real man. The doctor came in yesterday, I couldn't tell you, but I'm not gonna be able to walk, even if I make it out of here. I'll be in one of those chairs, I couldn't take care of a wife or kids like that, and what kind of father wants daughter with a guy like that? So no more Lucy. I love you, hell I might even be in love with you, but I'm not gonna do that to you. You're gonna grow up and go to college and get married, but just not to me."

He looked down right miserable by the time he stopped talking. I was feeling too many things, and none of them were good.

"Are you finished?" I asked

I was settling on an emotion: anger. I think I've said before I have a hot temper. I didn't even give Johnny time to answer before I flew into him.

"You listen to me now Johnny Cade. That's all bull. Maybe we are too young to be in love but I don't want to be in love with anyone else. You love me, I know you do, and just because you can't walk that don't change. The way I see it, it's up to me. No legs don't make you useless. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself, and tell me you didn't mean it!"

I was standing up shouting at him, tears were making my vision blurry. My brain was going so fast everything was a blur. The only thing I knew was, I wasn't going to lose Johnny, no way was I going to let that happen. He stared back at me with surprise and wide eyes. I didn't care if he was surprised. What right did he have to tell me what to do with my life? What he said was stupid, and I wasn't going to listen. He was my Johnny, and he was just going to have to live with it because I loved him and I knew he loved me.

Then you know what that little so and so did? He grinned at me. He grinned so playfully and amused at me, I knew he couldn't help grinning. What on earth could he be finding funny right now? But then again a short, curly haired girl in boy's close too big for her, standing in a hospital room yelling at her boyfriend with and angry red face and tears in her eyes, could look a little funny.

"Brown Eyed Girl." He said not losing his grin and holding out his hand to me.

I didn't know I had done it, but I guess the whole time I was ranting at him I had been backing up, because I had to take three steps to put my hand in his.

"Lose-"

That was enough for me. I fell onto him and held him as tightly as I could, I didn't even care if I was hurting him. I was crying and sobbing violently.

"Don't you ever do that to me again Johnny." I sobbed into his neck.

His skin and the hair that fell there was wet from my tears.

"I swear." He said stroking my hair.

I was still wrapped up in Johnny when Steve knocked on the door.

"I hate to break up the love fest, but you better hurry up if you want to see Dally. Cop's getting nervous."

He was right. The cop was interrogating Two-Bit outside Dally's room. Cherry was crying.

"What's wrong Cherry?" I asked.

I knew this was kind of a sad situation, but Dally was going to be fine and Johnny was going to be ok, so I didn't understand why she was crying. What difference did it make to her if Dally went to jail or if Johnny couldn't walk? They were greasers. Her soc world would go on turning.

"I can't go in there and look at him like that. I don't want to see him helpless. I can't believe I've gotten mixed up in this. Lucy, I think-" She stopped abruptly like she was scared of what she was 'thinking'.

"I think I'm in love with him." She finished.

I was shocked and my mouth was open.

"I know he's a little rough, but he's something different, like more, better. Do you know what I mean?"

I didn't. I knew Dallas had feelings, but I thought that was all. He was just a hood, but with feelings. I thought that made him meaner, not better. And Cherry really did love him huh? I wouldn't ever understand that, but I felt sorry for her, Dally wouldn't ever love anybody, not even himself. Hate flowed from Dallas with every breath he took.

"You made it this far, you might as well go in." I advised.

I thought maybe if she saw him she would change her mind. She nodded and wiped under her eyes, being careful not to smudge her make-up. She followed me into his room while the cop was ranting to Two-Bit.

"Lose, it's about damn time-"

He stopped when he spotted Cherry behind me. He looked meaner than he had yesterday.

"What are you doin' here sweetheart? Come to see me on my death bed? I hate to break it to ya, but they say I'm gonna make it." He said bitterly.

Cherry burst into tears and ran out without saying anything. I don't know why Dally was like that. He pushed people away. If he had known the truth would he still have said it? I just let it go; maybe it was better for Cherry this way.

"Man, watcha' bring her for? Didn't ya think I was miserable enough?" He asked tugging on his bandages.

I walked on in.

"It was her idea Dal. I can't stay long, but I wanted to tell you Johnny's going to be ok. He won't walk anymore but he's gonna live." I said sitting on the end of his bed.

Dally looked down in contemplation.

"Damn that kid. Playin' the good guy's gonna get him killed one day. I woulda' let them kids die." He said.

He meant it. I believe he really would have.

"You already showed you don't care if you live or die, would you really care about Johnny if he was like-"

"Like me?" Dallas asked.

He looked mad; I thought he might jump up and punch me. He wasn't above hitting a girl. What I said was mean and true. He wouldn't have been the Johnny we knew if he hadn't done what he did. I couldn't take him dogging Johnny like that.

"Yea, like you Dallas. Cold." I said with all the venom I could.

He didn't speak; he just stared at me with a blank glare. Cherry had been right about him looking helpless. He didn't look at all like the Dally from two days ago. But he was the same too, cold, hating, and mean. There wasn't any more I could say to him.

"I'll see ya around Dal." I sighed as I got up and left his room.

I didn't know it was possible to shut him up, but I guess everyone has a breaking point.

When I came out we left. The cop's didn't want Dally to have any more visitors and Pony said something about school. I figured I better go too. What little I had been in that week, I wasn't really there in my head. That day wasn't any different.


	6. The Big Surprise

**I added a little to the end of the last chapter ("I swear.") so you may want to re-read the last bit of it so you will understand the rest of the story. As of 12-18-2013.**

* * *

Today is our high school graduation. And I'm excited for the rest of our lives. Of course my dad, Betty, and my little brother are in town to watch me. This morning my dad sat down with me on the porch swing while I was smoking before school.

"Baby girl, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked.

"Sure daddy, what's up?" I said with a smile.

He smiled too and slipped his arm around me.

"I just want to talk to you. You know I'm proud of you, and I know you're a good kid, smart too."

"Daddy, what are you getting at?" I asked.

I didn't usually didn't interrupt, but he didn't usually beat around the bush, and I still had to go to school.

"Well baby, I just don't want anything to jeopardize your future. I know what it's like being young. Your mom and I were once; you're a product of that."

His smile faded a little and he looked like he was fighting to find words.

"I figured that out a few years ago dad. My birthday, your anniversary, there not that far apart. It wasn't hard to put together."

He looked quizzical and bemused, but grinned. My dad's grins are the best, better than Sodapop's even.

"I knew you were a smart kid. Johnny's a smart kid too. I like him, he as a good heart and head, that's rare. I'm glad you found one like him Lucy. You both have my blessing when the time comes. I just want you to remember your future." He said.

I didn't know how to answer him. I loved my dad, that's all I could think of. I kissed his check and went off to school.

My very last day of high school. I was going to a university near my dad in the fall. I couldn't really tell much deference in it and the other school days, except Two-Bit teased me, Pony, and Johnny a lot more. He'd miss us.

After school I went home and got ready for my big walk. My mom had me in my room putting make-up on my face, and trying to manage my curly hair. Betty had taken me shopping, and bought me an expensive lavender dress. I wish they wouldn't make such a big deal about it, I was already nervous, and they were making it worse. My nerves were getting the better of me and, so I begged my mom into letting me go to the Curtis's so we could all ride together. Thank God I wasn't valedictorian, Pony was. I couldn't have stood in front of all those people and made a speech. I was glad we could graduate together though.

They guys were looking spiffy when I got there. They all had on suits and ties. Darry looked so proud; he kept smiling and patting Pony on the shoulder. It was almost like old times. I was sitting on the floor with my head against Johnny's legs, Two-Bit was slouched on the couch drinking a beer, Pony was trying to read a book, but Darry kept trying to smooth his hair or adjust his tie.

"Gez Darry, would you stop? I'm jumpy enough without you touchin' me all the time." Pony said after Darry tried to brush 'lint' off his shoulder.

Darry took the hit and started pacing, that didn't last long, and he started trying to groom Johnny. If those big rough hands touched my hair, I was going to punch him in the face.

"Calm down man." Johnny said pushing his hand away.

"I'm sorry guys, I guess I'm nervous. Pony do you have your speech ready?" Darry asked alarmed.

"God Darry, I don't want to think about that speech another minute." Pony said and roughly closed the book.

I guess he gave up trying to read. Right then Dally opened the front door and walked in with Cherry behind him with her hand in his.

"Well don't I feel under dressed." He remarked looking at all of us.

"I told you." Cherry said frustrated.

She was dressed up too.

"Is Sodapop coming?" Pony asked Darry.

It wasn't the same sitting there without Steve and Soda; it was a lot quieter now. It was only going to get quieter from here, Two-Bit would be gone next year, me and Pony were leaving in a few weeks, Cherry would be going back to school then too. That would leave Darry, Dally and Johnny. I didn't want to picture the three of them sitting around the living room without us, but the picture popped into my head anyway. I realized things were coming to an end.

"Him and Sandy are gonna to meet us there." Darry said.

Graduation was supposed to start at 6:30, and the students were supposed to be there early for line up. So after fifteen minutes of me saying this, we all piled into my car. I guess after two years in that chair Johnny was pretty agile. He scooted in and Darry put the thing in the trunk, then we all crowded around him.

Finally it was show time. Pony gave his speech, to tell the truth it made me cry. Looking back now I can say it was stereotypical, but at the time it was the truth. I think that's why he said things the way he did, not to be dramatic or anything, but because that's how we felt. He said the things I was feeling only more poetic. He talked about how some of us wouldn't see each other again, and how even if we didn't remember the names, we would always remember that one girl who loaned us a pencil once, or that one guy who pushed us in the hall. He said we should want to live the rest of our lives trying to be remembered for good.

I wondered if the gang would always remember each other's names. I couldn't even image not being able to hang out with them whenever I wanted. That reality was only a few weeks away though. What was I going to do when I couldn't run to Johnny's arms, or Soda's smile, or Darry's advice? I made up my mind to just not think about it.

We were all lined up on the football field in folding chairs; except Johnny. The principle stood up and started calling names after Pony's speech. All three of us were in the 'C' category, but Johnny was first. I was proud of him. His parents didn't come. Their own son's graduation and they couldn't be bothered. Johnny wouldn't let on to anybody that he was disappointed, but he didn't have to. I had never met them, but I hated them.

He was nervous and kept looking around in the crowd like he was looking for somebody, but finally he stopped fidgeting and listened for his name.

"Jonathan Cade." Said the principle's deep voice.

Johnny pushed his chair to the end of the row and stopped to look back at me. I smiled encouragingly at him and he smiled back. Then he scanned the crowed again. He took a minute then shakily he put his hands on the arms of his chair and pushed himself up a little bit.

I started to stand, but my English teacher put his hand on my knee and shook his head. I remembered where I was then I sit back down and watched him.

He struggled a bit and got both feet on the ground. He stood up. He was unsteady at best, but he was standing on his own. He took a step. I started to cry and smile at the same time. I hadn't noticed how deathly quiet it was until I heard big hands clap slow and loud. I jerked my head around to see who it was, I about fell over when I saw that the only person standing was Tim Shepherd. He was clapping determinedly. Johnny was smiling big and looking right at Tim, I think Tim was smiling too. Then Dally stood beside him and clapped. Darry stood, then Soda, then my dad. Then everyone stood and cheered, even the staff and students.

It took Johnny five times longer to walk to the podium than anyone else, but he did it all on his own. He was handed his diploma and walked back to his chair. I could have watched Johnny walk slowly for hours.

"Way to go Johnny! I knew you could do it!"

I looked back, it was Darry who said it, he was rubbing his eyes and Soda was grinning and patting him on the back. The look on Johnny's face was priceless, he was so self-satisfied. I loved seeing him like that; he was beautiful from the inside out.

The principle called more names after that including mine and Pony's but nothing could compare with Johnny's display. He stole the show.

After graduation, my dad took us all out to eat to celebrate. I felt sorry for the waitress, we were a rowdy crowed. Late that night I was laying on Johnny's arm in the vacant lot. We were both lying on our backs looking at the stars. I don't really know how to explain it, but it just felt like one of those times when you needed to be alone with the person you love. Like there is a magnet in your heart pulling you near to that person.

"So when were you going to tell me?" I asked.

He was laying there smoking; he still had that grin on his face. I wondered if that was the first time he had ever been proud of himself.

"Exactly when I did. Me and Darry have been practicing for weeks. I'm glad Tim was there though; it was his idea ya know"? He said.

Tim's idea? I hadn't realized I had given Johnny so much free time.

"No, I had no idea. Johnny you surprised everybody.

He chuckled.

"Good, I was supposed to. Only Darry and Tim knew. Dally didn't even know. I think he's happy."

Well of course Dally was happy. Johnny was still his pet, he was still everybody's pet and the close call he had only made everyone love him more. I think I was the only one who would have said it though.

After the big surprise Johnny started to walk more that use his chair.


	7. Epilouge

**I dedicate this fic to my own Brown Eyed Girl. Aunt Brittany love's you Bethany Grace!**

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So Dally and Johnny lived. Johnny was in the hospital for a long time, but not as long as Dallas was in the cooler. He was in there for eighteen months, his longest stretch yet. He was on probation for two years after.

I guess we all changed a little bit.

Soda got a happy ending too. He took my advice and wrote Sandy a letter. She came back. He tried to act mad at first but then he quit and smiled more than I had ever seen. It turned out the baby was his, and she had just lied to spare him. Soda was truly happy, the real grown up kind. I was proud of him. I knew he would do all the things he said he would; Sandy and the baby would be taken care of. They got married right after she came back. Her dad wasn't happy about it at first, but I think he liked it better than having his daughter and granddaughter hundreds of miles away. Her dad gave Soda a pretty good job building houses, and now they are the kind of family you can't image without each other. Their daughter, Nevah, is beautiful like her mother and happy like her father. Darry and Pony were crazy about her, but then we all were. Sodapop wasn't going to just make an ok dad and husband; he was going to be great. I was glad the guys got to see the wedding, not just because it meant a lot to Soda, but because I was afraid it would be the only one they would get the chance to see

Soda wasn't drafted because he had a family, but Steve was. I think he really wanted to go. To have a way to channel his anger, or to get away from his dad, or just because he was bored, I don't know. He didn't call or write often, but when he did he sounded less and less like the Steve we knew.

Two-Bit was spared because he was still in school. He wanted to drop out and go with Steve, but we talked him out of it. He decided to wait till he graduated, and enlist then. I hoped he didn't change like Steve did.

Dally didn't get drafted either. We never knew he had an aunt in Canada. We all went to see him a lot when he was locked up, even Cherry, but she always went alone. I don't know what they said to each other. They never told me and I never asked. But soon it was a well-known fact that she was his girl. Cherry didn't change him, and he didn't change her, they just completed each other. Not like him and Johnny, but they were good for each other. I never saw anyone understand someone else the way they understood each other. I saw them being the same inside, stubborn, prideful, and determined but it reflected differently in them. I got use to her being around; she didn't look out of place anymore. You wouldn't believe how tuff she could be.

Darry and Pony didn't fight nearly as much as they use to. Pony was still absentminded and a dreamer, but now he was more understanding to everybody. When there was a problem he thought it through, this usually ended up with him getting too involved in things and people. I think it was because he was such a deep thinker. Darry just learned to bite his tongue more. He was too realistic to ever understand Ponyboy, but he was the rock. Pony got an academic scholarship and was going to college in the fall.

Johnny spent a lot of time in the hospital. Of course he was saved from Nam because of his back. For that I was grateful. Me and Pony made him keep up with his studies in the hospital. His grades even got better, I think it was because me and Pony looked over his work before he turned it in. He couldn't walk or run anymore, but he could still live life. And after a while, he did. Everyone finally got over the comical effect of me being with him, even Two-bit quit laughing every time he would say our names together. My dad met him a year before we graduated, and he greatly approved. Johnny's didn't go to college; however my dad got him an internship at his buddy's law office. Like I said, he approved.

I was wrong about Soda's wedding being the only one. Tim's was next. You might think he did it to get out of the draft, but you'd be wrong. He met Tina. She was just like him, as tough and wild. I guess that's why they fell in love. They were the only ones who could handle each other. Then there was Darry's wedding, and a year later, mine and Johnny's. It was the best day of my life. After a lot of angry persuasion from Cherry, she and Dallas finally got married too. I was right about Pony though. He never did get married that I know of. He seemed to be happy without a wife. After college he moved away and slowly we heard less and less from him.

Steve didn't make it back. Two-Bit did, at least his body did. His mind never was the same though. He didn't ever grin or joke; he always had a hard cold look. It was different from Dally's. A few years after he came back his mom found his body in the basement: alcohol poisoning. It about killed all of us. We didn't know what 'tough' was until then.

Today I am 79 years old, and my great granddaughter came by to see me after school. I'm glad to see those long black curls and big dark eyes when she comes. When Johnny died four years ago I didn't know how I was going to make it without him, but I see him every time I look at her. She was only 5 when he passed, and it's sad to think soon she won't remember him. So today when she said, "Nana, tell me about Pa Pa Johnny." I just smiled and said, "Darlin, if you want to see Pa Pa Johnny, just look in the mirror."

Then after she left I took out my old diaries and wrote this down, our story, for her. I hope she enjoys it and never forgets.

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**Ok so I wasn't thinking of this in terms of a story written for a nine year old by her great grandmother when I wrote the first chapter…. So maybe you can just look over that. I don't know if I will change it or not. Also, I am planning a bunch of one-shots, one for each member of the gang, so if you liked this you might want to check them out.**

**Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.**


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